Monday, April 7, 2008

Traveling with the crowd...

One of the most infamous experiences for anyone visiting Latin American countries is riding the public bus - affectionately known among gringos as the chicken bus. There are various very logical explanations for the origins of the title "chicken bus." One is that there are often various forms of livestock among the passengers - especially in the outlying villages - including chickens in rope nets, pigs and a herd of goats tied to the roof rack. (How the goats got up there in the first place remains a mystery, but creates a very vivid picture in my mind.) Another explanation for the term chicken bus is that the drivers play chicken with other traffic when they drive. This is an irrefutable fact, but not necessarily a lock on the origin of the name.
For the uninitiated, the bus system here is truly free enterprise. Various groups or individuals own and operate the buses that transport people, freight and livestock from village to town and back. Most operate along the same roads...so the bus in the front of the pack gets the paying passengers. When the front bus stops to pick up passengers, the following bus leap-frogs ahead and gets the next group. This creates a competitive environment, whereby the front bus wants to go as fast as it can to gain some separation from the bus behind, possibly maintaining the pole position as he adds passengers and then speeds off. I believe this is where most Indy drivers learned their skills...except they don't stop to pick up passengers during the race.
(Warning to those who have never ridden a chicken bus: When loading, the driver watches the foot of the last person boarding. When that last foot separates by only millimeters from the pavement, the accelerator pedal goes to the medal. Unless you are holding on firmly, the acceleration slams you down the aisle for at least 10 seats, sometimes on top of other passengers. But they're used to it.)
On the plus side, the bus will stop to pick you up regardless of where you are along the route. The bus stop is wherever you are when you lift your hand. This feature also poses a problem for the uninitiated riders. If you are standing in the aisle when an unexpected passenger stop occurs, you can involuntarily find yourself right back at the front door again. Or, if you are lucky, a larger passenger will be in front of you creating a plug in the aisle, which has to be at least four-inches wide. In this case, you will merely find yourself compressed into the person in front of you, with everyone else compressed into you. This acceleration to the rear of the bus and compression toward the front of the bus continues until you depart at your destination. At least you hope it's your destination...because between accelerations and compressions you seldom are able to glance out the heavily shaded windows to determine you present location.
For those truly skilled in the art of chicken bus riding, ejecting one's self through the rear door, in some cultures called the emergency door, within a mile or so of your ultimate destination creates the ultimate high. This is especially true if he bus is still traveling down the road at 20 mph in heavy traffic. (Which brings up a topic for later discussion - following a chicken bus in your car when it ejects passengers onto the roadway in front of you.)
You may ask, why would any sane person subject them self to this kind of craziness. Because it's cheap. It only costs about Q20 - $2.60 to ride all the way to the city! When you get there, your clothes are pressed, you are wearing the perfume of that large person in front of you (for free), sometimes all that heavy stuff like keys and money are no longer in your pocket and you have survived one of the world's most extreme sporting challenges. The other being, driving in a herd of chicken buses on a narrow road. Now that's extreme! You can have your shark diving, your sky diving, your rock climbing. As for me, I'm sticking with chicken bus surfing until it becomes an Olympic event. I can see me on that top step now! Holding my crushed trophy!!!